topbella

Saturday, August 14, 2010

我的心...是灰色的吗?

昨天突然有心情陪妈妈逛街买东东吃
其实也不是很闲的逛
只有$20 买一天两餐5人的食物
两个人到了哪里都只有不停地算算算…
直到把钱用完了还要倒贴
结果用了$34…

重点不是这个
路上跟妈咪聊了很多 平时不常聊的
说到目前最大的问题-钱
一向来我都不会问有关钱的问题
因为今年情况不一样了
年头爸爸不在的几个月 都是我在看着几乎家里所有 ‘身家’
才突然了解家里目前的财政
爸爸还没找到工作 刚还买了块地 一间公寓打算投资赚钱
也许如妈咪所讲 爸爸不应该这么早辞职
响银行借的钱还没批 只怕两头不到岸

发现爸爸瘦了好多-应该有15公斤吧!
以前去哪儿都有大大舒服的车代步
现在只有搭车最方便 甚至只走路
大大的外套里面 憔悴的身躯不是因为没吃饱造成的
每天跑到图书馆借书 看resume怎写, 怎么投资赚钱, 怎样interview…之类的
才知道原来这里什么都不一样 什么都要重新开始
比如说在这里工作不是说你有多能干多了不起
而是看你的人际关系有多好
没有人可以更了解那压力有多大

再加上一些不知道是
年少无知
落井下石
火上浇油
扇风点火
不知好歹
还是恨不得家里鸡犬不宁 的家伙
既然要自甘堕落
我的心也是一点点地
灰了 不会再奢望什么

妈咪说如果最后还是不行
那就只有放弃回去咯~我知道妈咪是不想爸爸委屈
但是爸爸回去了我又能代爸爸好好管好家里吗??
我不是对自己没信心…现在就连我自己也自身难保
也不知道当初选的课系 是否适合自己
虽然喜欢 但不代表什么啊…
要应付不是只靠努力就可以了 自己天分有多少自己懂

现在每天拼了命的都不知为了什么…
还是要开始建立人际关系么? 好好认识多点朋友教授么?
我怎么觉得朋友们都离我越来越远了呢?
妈咪说第一个学期考不好可能因为不适应, 再加上家里有点小问题我没办法专心
我知道妈咪是在设法安慰我 让我不要放弃
谢谢你妈咪!! 那一刻我真的很想哭出来~

最近想哭的时候都只想听音乐…
Super Junior-It’s U的璇律真的好喜欢哦~
每一个音符一点一点的 刻到心里面去
“我的天空’每天都’有点灰”
“我的心是个落叶的季节” (虽然现在是冬天)
SHE我也爱…词真的写的太好了~

不能随便在别人面前哭 很丢脸
所以只好看很感动的电视剧才敢哭个够…
有时还在想 是为了什么要拼命把不喜欢的事做好
人生短短匆匆 那样不很辛苦吗?
很失败 因为现在我真的不知道 为了什么继续熬下去…

-end-

Thursday, August 5, 2010

31th July

the house rental problem are solved...
mostly due to chang thai's help~
i decided to belanja dia makan...
mummy say its too expensive to eat outside,
therefore, she wanna prepare herself...

the day after my birthday...
i celebrate again at home with my family =D
mummy cooked fish and chip that day~and i made salad^^
jeannie matt tak boleh datang..they gotta attend church activities~
chang thai, uikee, andrew, colin came...
too bad i forgot to take pictures!!=/

nothing special happened....
watch tv after dinner...oh ya!
COLIN'S EATING HABBIT!! was unbelievable...
let me explain...erm how to say...
andrew described it as...
people usually digest food in stomach, colin digest food in his mouth!!

after laughing at colin.....nahhh we din laugh at him lah~~
after dinner, THE MOST IMPORTANT ACTIVITY IN S7!!
CHOR DAI DI~~~XD
we play almost every poker games...for donno how many hours sambil watching tv...

then we suddenly reminded on yesterday's celebration..
according to uikee...alot of silly things happen while preparing!
omg....thank you guys!! than you uikee!! thank you matthew!!!
it's the most memorable, touching, surprising birthday i've ever had!!

-end-

30th July

yeah as u know..it's a special day for me and my mummy~
why am i celebrating when mummy suffered on this day 19th years ago...?
everyone did that so i do that too!! =X

its a special birthday i'll say...
1st time celebrating overseas~
1st time celebrating with friends instead of family~
1st time celebrating with korean food~
2nd time my fellow s7-ians surprised me~

photographer of the day: Jeannie Tai Hui Jing..*clap!!
p/s: hair ok nah =]

photos taken from facebook album
---> http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/album.php?aid=194164&id=687512202


there u go...some smart & cute gentlemen *errrhem!
that came that day~xD

after having a great korean bbq...
the waitress suddenly took out a cake...and the birthday song was sang~
i got no idea how i describe the feeling of that...
how surprised i was X)
coz u know...cakes in aussie aren't cheap!!
happiness in a surprised mode may be??

*sparkling lights...love it!!
chocolate ice cream cake....love it too :)

lucas~

thanks for coming anyway^^

uikee and chang thai(bottle)~

uikee thanks for buying the cake
while wearing almost nothing
while running here and there
outside the windy winter~xD

chang thai who cant attend...
u're always there~not physically~
in my mind...*omg this sounds so wrong!!

choon min~

barely join us last year that came that day~
thanks!!=D

alex~

'v' happy to see the changes in u~
to be more mature...hahaha xD
*u're OLDER than me nahhh~~


matthew~

who was not feeling well that day~
thanks for organizing and trying to make me surprise~
i am surprised! :]
p/s: i was trying to make a 12 in the picture XD

andrew errr~~

not too close with u last year...
cant rmb when was the 1st time i talk to u...
but hey ya~thanks for attending...(and being surprised together!)

yi en~

the sarcastic brain ~din talk much that day...
anyway thanks for sending me to tram station sometimes!
....and i'll forget about the past, future, and the 'present' xD

yi xian~

the twin brother that likes to explore~
grateful that u came too!!
*ribbon for u~xDDD nahhh...thats mine!*

mun yee~

who attended too~thanks you soo much for coming!!

satu lagi Jeannie Jing yang tak mau put her photo up..
because...the hair~haha i forgive u :D

ini uikee that was taking photos for his assignment...
really...thank you so much!!
haha i promise ur next birthday will be even more awesome than this!!




❤Best Wishes from S7


ekay and the cake❤


ekay~dapao cake~Jing's present❤


ekay and the Gang❤

went to St Kilda Beach after dinner to eat/drink wind...
and luckily we saw PENGUINS!! aww that was so cute~
should've go to Crown since we're so lucky that day....
nahhhh~i dont gamble!=D

around 12am...get off the tram and say ByeBye to my lovely friends!
realised uikee's wallet was inside my pocket when i wanna find my house key!!!
and jing called...my bottle was with matt!!!
ahhh~what a day!!


muahx~~THANK YOU GUYS AND GIRLS❤

-end-
Hey~welcome to whoever that viewed my bloggie here! hope u dont find it annoying...but i dont care :)